the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize