I love black thongs
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
