Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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