Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
