i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
