He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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