Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
