i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize