We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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