I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
