why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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