I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
