Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
