Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
