I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize