i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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