she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
