I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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