I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
how do flat chested girls get laid?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
