you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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