Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize