I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
