hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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