People with herpes should wear stickers.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
