Kiss
Puke
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
