oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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