whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
