I need help removing her.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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