dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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