watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
