I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
