I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
