Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
