My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize