i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
