Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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