just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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