Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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