Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I need to calm my uterus...
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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