he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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