Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
