Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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