She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize