everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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