I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Found your dick twin last night
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
third nipple confirmed
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
