he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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