Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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