I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize