I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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