I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Randomize
