Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
