This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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