okay pat passed out under dana's car
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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