I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize