there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
is it fun? or sober?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
