i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I just forgot I was standing up.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
