GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize