Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
