so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
