May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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