And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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