Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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