I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
