i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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