we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
