This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
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