im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
