If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
