Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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