The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
