and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
