OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
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