What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
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