I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
