remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
