he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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