No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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