I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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