Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
This toilet bowl is my home.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
