Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
