When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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