My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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