Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
