I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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