Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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