i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
