Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
We are all done wearing pants today
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
