no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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